Obsessed with Equality
I am. Obsessed with Equality. Or the notion of it. Fairness I can live without. We all know that life isn't fair & it isn't a bowl of plump, ripe cherries. I accept that. Fairness is not the same as Equality.
Let me ask you:
- Are/were you free to marry the one you wanted?
- If you chose to, could you adopt and/or foster a child?
- If your spouse was dying in a local hospital, would you and/or your children be granted access to their bedside?
Are you saying..."Well, yeah! Of course!" Seems like a no-brainer, right? Not so.
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America is touted as "The Land of the Free & The Home of the Brave". It's a pretty and picture-perfect lie. All Americans are not free to choose their own lifestyle without public & religious ostracizing. Ask the majority in the LGBT community. They are not free to marry whom they choose. They are not free to adopt a child, regardless of their wealth & stability. They are not free to be by the bedside of their dying loved one in a hospital.
They are not all brave. Some people would be risking their lives & livelihood if they were brave enough to be themselves. Many will spend their whole lives pretending to be someone they are not because they are fearful. Afraid of being shunned by their families, co-workers, church, community and friends. An example is the Equal Employment Opportunity farce. A falsehood that we like to believe is honored. Not so. Many, many people face discrimination in the workplace today. Unless you DADT. Don't even think about putting up that fancy frame on your desk with your family photo in it...you'd be "telling" and we can't have that. Never mind that your neighbor in the next cubicle or office has their spot decorated with cookie-cutter family pictures. Sound imbalanced to you? It is.
I think it's important to remember that when one individual is discriminated against, there's a domino effect. It hurts their family as well. Their spouse and children are directly impacted. How is it that we can put equal rights up for a popular vote? Americans are not required to vote. It's elective. And yet we'll put the issue of equality into the hands of the people, who may or may not show up that day to cast? If the state is going to allow our rights to be determined by our neighbors, why not mandate them to come to the polls to decide? It's your right to choose to vote, you say? Imagine not having that right.
I'm not angry because life isn't fair. I'm upset because we are not all treated equally and afforded the same basic rights. Civil liberties. I'm talking about the regular Joes and plain Janes that work hard, pay property, state, local and federal taxes to the same domain we all do. But because Joe may love John and Jane may love Jill, they and their children aren't given the same benefits as Harry and Sally or Jack and Jill. Absurd. Take their money all day long, but afford them less than your neighbor. WHY? I shake my head because it is one-sided and senseless.
I have become obsessed with equality. I want to see the day when, in every single state and on a federal level, my parents will be recognized as equals. Where they can choose marriage with shared benefits, given access to each other when, after 30+ years, one may lay dying in a hospital or put a picture of their family on their desk at work. You know: the basics.
Equality in Discrimination, Myth 
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Reader Comments (11)
Oh, you said this so beautifully! This is how I feel too.
Discriminization of LGBT people really frosts my ass. At times, it must feel to them like the whole world is against them. I certainly hope they know that isn't the case.
Even though gay marriage is legal here in Canada, society still has a long way to go in their perceptions and attitudes.
There's no doubt in my mind that even after the LGBT community are afforded the same rights...people will still face persecution. But it will no longer be levied by the government that serves them.
One step at a time, right?
I just don't think the issue of gay marriage should be settled one state at a time. It needs to be decided on a federal level so that every state has to follow the same rules. It's ridiculous that someone can get married in Vermont or Massachusetts and then not have that marriage recognized in any other state.
I have my beliefs on this issue, but I would never impose my beliefs on someone else. Just like I'm tired of feeling like I have to hide my religious self in certain circles. This is America. We should all be free to be who we are.
This is a great post. I loved how you differentiated fairness from equality. Thanks for visiting me on my SITS day!
I'm hopeful that one day the things you speak of will be reality. It may require many more years of struggle, but that's to be expected. Closed minds can't be opened overnight. As an African American female, I am sensitive to the plight of all oppressed groups and I am hopeful that all people will one day be allowed to chose who they want to love (as I have done by marrying outside of my race) without fear of persecution or exclusion. I enjoyed your post. Came over from SITS to say hello!
Fabulous post in its entirety. Until the GBLT community has equality across the country the US cannot truly call itself the "land of the free." Free for some? Bah! That's not right! Equality and freedom for all! Not simply equality and freedom for those who fit into the following cookie cutter shapes and categories. Obama should truly pass a federal law to this effect while he is in office. He could be remembered for something truly historic and important.
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!
My cousin Pauly is one of my closest family members, I love him like the brother I never had, and until he can marry his man and their love and their union be treated as valid as anyone else's I will not stop flapping my gums about how important this issue is to ALL citizens. I'm so glad there are people like you out there flapping your gums right along with me!!! :-)
I've no doubt the change will occur, it's just a matter of when. I feel as if I've become extremely impatient with the process, however, as I've gotten older.
I just want to scream to people against equality, whatever their reasons, scream to them to get OVER themselves.
America is a melting pot, thick with ingredients that make up our population. We should OMIT no one.
Thank goodness for people like you, Christine.
And you & Sam, as well:)
What a great and well written post. I could not agree more! I will never understand the people that are against this. All couples should have the same rights and it is an embarrassment to this country that it is almost 2010 for pete's sake and there is still discrimination against many people in this country.